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Today my parents celebrate their wedding anniversary – 39 years of marriage. My parents, Larry and Shellie, were married young on February 1st, 1975. My dad said it best this morning on his facebook page, “39 years ago today I became the luckiest guy alive when I married Shellie. Today we are blessed with 4 beautiful, unbelievable daughters, 3 fantastic grandsons and 3 great son-in-laws and it just keeps getting better everyday.”
Marriage changes over the years and my parents are great role models in making a marriage and love last for decades. I asked my parents a few questions so they could share some of their wisdom with everyone.
How long have you been married? 39 years.
Did you know right away that this relationship would last this far? Shellie – Yes, because I always wanted to be around him. Larry – Yes, because I wanted to spend every day with her.
What made you fall in love with each other? Shellie – He was persistent and always tried to be around me. He kept calling and coming over to see me. I knew that he really loved me. Larry – She was beautiful and always did things that were unexpected and cute to me.
Do you still see those same qualities in each other? Shellie – Yes. Now he says that I’m his wife for life. Larry – Yes, all the time.
What are some qualities you admire about your spouse? Shellie – He is dependable, hardworking, always has my back and is my best friend. Larry – She can adapt to any situation, is outgoing, a great mother and friend.
How do you feel about your spouse now compared with when you first got together? Shellie – I still love him. Larry – I love her more today than yesterday.
My dad’s response started a conversation on love. How was is possible to add more and more love each day for over 39 years? Doesn’t your heart max out on love? My parents agreed that it does not. Your heart grows when you have a child. You can’t possibly imagine loving another person more, but then you have another child and your heart grows again. My dad’s love grows every day for my mom. Adorable.
Are there couples you look up to? What do you respect about their marriages? Shellie – I admire couples that still date and have fun together. Larry – I look up to couples that act like teenagers together.
What makes your marriage work? Shellie – We have the same interests. Larry – She is my best friend.
What do you see as the strengths of your marriage? Shellie – He gets my jokes and can read my mind and body language. Larry – We like the same things.
What do you see as the weaknesses of your marriage? Shellie – We have different money values. Larry – I’m a morning person and she’s a night person.
What helps you to love the other person when you are mad at them? Shellie – I just know it will blow over. Larry – It’s just a passing thing.
What are some of your favorite things to do together? Shellie – Anything with the family, going to movies and watching baseball. Larry – Travel together, watching television or movies together.
How do you keep your romance alive/new? Shellie – Date nights. Larry – Reminiscing.
What are you communication skills like with one another? Shellie – I talk and he listens. Larry – I listen and she talks.
What do you feel keeps you communicating effectively? Shellie – I can say anything to him because he’s my best friend. Larry – I’m interested in what she has to say.
How financially ready were you before marriage and children? Both – Not at all.
Do you think having children have affect on the marriage? Why? Shellie – Yes, because I always wanted a family. Larry – Yes. It makes you more responsible and you have something in common.
How do you handle finances? Shellie – We pool our money together. Larry – I pay the bills with our money together.
What advice would you give your grandchildren about finding a mate? Shellie – Make sure you are each others best friend and you can’t breathe without them. Larry – Be each others best friends and you will just know.
How were/are household chores divided among you and your spouse? Shellie – If it needs to get done then someone will do it. You’re schedules adjust with children. Larry – We are traditional. She does the cleaning inside (dishes, laundry, etc.) and I do the work outside (mowing, shoveling, etc.).
In your eyes, how do you think marriage today is different than marriages in the past? There is less expectation now to get married than there used to be. There is also less of a stigma to stayed married so more people are getting divorced.